Martians Control The Earth

UFO Destroyed EgyptAir Airplane; Government Forced to Speak Martians Control The Earth Clapway

Look around you. That old lady buying papayas at Whole Foods? She’s an evil, blood-sucking alien. Nice Mr. Jenkins next store? A heartless murderer from Mars. Your dog Fido? You don’t even want to know. Yes, Martians are everywhere, they control the Earth and we are their hapless prisoners. There is no escape and we’ve doomed a life of eternal slavery. This is not just the ramblings of a crazy person…actually, yes, that is exactly what they are.

INSANE EX MARINE KILLS PASTOR AND BLAMES MARTIANS

An insane ex-Marine was accused of shooting an Idaho pastor the other day. Besides this charge, he was arrested while throwing documents to his buddy President Obama over the White House fence. Fortunately, the 30-year-old lunatic is being sent back to Idaho. While he waits for his certain imprisonment amongst a field of potatoes, one can’t help but think what this troubled youth was thinking.

TROUBLED YOUTH TRIES TO SAVE EARTH BUT FAILS

This young man with a vibrant personality was simply trying to save Earth from Martians. Of course, why didn’t he just say so? Apparently, those documents he threw over the fence were his attempt to warn the world. In addition to Obama, the man sent multiple copies of these documents to news organizations in the Northwest. According to him, there is a league of hypersexual (his words not mine) Martians living beneath the Earth and inside the moon. These beings have been controlling us for ions and ions. That pastor he killed was one of those Martians as well as a handful of public figures in the U.S. Also, nearly every Prime Minister from Israel. The man is not keen on Israel. That was the country with the most Martians he said.

OBAMA KNOWS THE TRUTH TO ALIEN INVASION

So why did he trust President Obama with Earth’s future when so many of his cohorts are evil aliens? Well somehow, Obama escaped the massive breeding of humans that has occurred. One could go on and on about the ramblings of this man’s essay but why bother? He’s loony, or at least, he is pretending to be. Perhaps he’s smarter than we think. A good way to get off lightly on murder is to plead insanity. Sure, the Earth is run by aliens kid. Now go to you room with the padded walls and laugh as you escape the death penalty.

 

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