Yes, Urinating Walls Are a Real Thing
Let this be a cautionary tale to anyone who has ever been drunk and thought it was fine to pee on a random wall because they didn’t feel like waiting. The walls know what you’re doing, and they do not like it, not one bit. Long have they been waiting to get their revenge on the homeless men, the drunk frat boys, and the unfathomably lazy, who look at walls and think “I will make a toilet of you!” And now, in certain areas of San Francisco, nine new urinating walls will have their revenge. Pick your pee walls carefully, San Francisco residents, for if you pick the wrong one, that urinating wall will pee right back onto you.
San Francisco Is In a Wall-Peeing Epidemic
Public urination has been enough of a problem that San Francisco has actually had to go out of its way to try and combat it. In 2002, San Francisco banned public urination and had it come with a fine of up to $500. But that has done remarkably little to correct the problem, and the residents of San Francisco have forced its hand. Enter the urinating walls.
Wall Urinators Will Get a Splash of Their Own Medicine
The key to these urinating walls is pee-repellent paint. That’s right: humans, supposedly the most civilized and evolved species on this planet, are so unable to keep themselves from peeing on walls that we apparently need to make paint you can’t pee on instead of just telling someone to not pee on a wall and having them listen. So how does pee-repellant paint work? Does it create a magic force-field of some kind? No, it just means that when you try to pee on that wall, your own urine will spray back at you. It’s the ultimate revenge: not only is it a urinating wall, but it’s urinating your own urine back at you and getting all over your pants and shoes.
San Francisco Not Telling Which Walls are the Urinating Walls
The city is being a bit of a trickster about these urinating walls. Some walls in the city have signs on them that urge you to not urinate on the wall and to instead find a public restroom. What these signs don’t tell you, however, is that if you ignore them, there’s a chance that wall will pee right back onto you. Fire away at your own risk.
