How To Fly

Flying - Clapway

We all want to fly. And I don’t mean in an airplane. I mean really fly. We fantasize about Wiley Coyote gluing feathers and rockets to himself. We have dreams of falling. We watch the stars at night and the clouds in day. We all want and adventure in free flight.

Here are some tips on how to do just that:

1. Just Jump
No, I don’t mean kill yourself, not on purpose at least. I’m talking about strapping on a parachute jumping. Go skydiving from a helicopter or plane. Free-fall for over 30,000 feet. Feel the onset of death. Comet to Earth like a bubble in boiling water, mad in direction. Then pull your chute, yanking you into the puffy pastry of safety.

2. Make Like A Flying Squirrel
And eat nuts—no, I’m kidding. I’m talking about Base Jumping in a wing suit. This one’s a bit more dangerous than traditional skydiving so keep your wits about you. Zip down through the sky with the speed and boldness of  waste jettisoned from commercial airplanes. Weave obstacles with the same grace as the birds you emulate, but you are no Albatross, you will eventually hit ground, so lookout.

3. Rocket Power Winged Jet Pack
That’s right, it’s no longer science-fiction, it’s real. Zig and zag through the sky like Astroboy.

4. Write Poetry
Fly with your mind and heart.

5. Dream
Yes my bright eyed adventurers, you may fly in your dreams. Deep into the black of night, stars cyclone across the land when it is at it’s most still, and if you happen to be ready, by which I mean deep in sleep, you can snag hold of these swirling stars, and they will carry you in turn. This is the heart of what inspires humans to fly. This dream has been experienced by many throughout time, the dream of flight. Sometimes you glide over a familiar or new land. Sometimes you dip and dive and bounce about, weaving in and out of objects. All of this experienced, until you eventually fall or safely land, and wake up. If you do not have the money or the gall to afford any other form of flight, you can at least afford this one.

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