Soooo, you really like to travel, but are also really lazy. Does the word “effort” make you queasy? Or how about “try”? Ah, no worries – here are some lazy but effective travel tips for all the lazy and perspicacious travelers out there just like you and me. (Fist bump.)
1. Learning the Language
If you have a smartphone, which you probably do, download a “Common Phrases” language app and try to memorize some of the phrases it generates. Too much work? Say everything in English; most people, though it depends on how remote the region they live in is, understand English pretty well. Ta-da.
Sure, you can do it the Anthony Bourdain way and visit local markets at dawn, but let’s be serious: Are you really going to wake up before the sun rises to eat traditional cuisine? Nah. Google is your friend when it comes to finding food. Visiting Milan? Google “Best restaurant in Milan.” Staying in Puerto Rico? Google “Best restaurant in Puerto Rico.” Want to try the local fare in northern India? Google “Food northern India is most known for” and then “Best restaurant in northern India.” See, that was easy.
3. Activities and Attractions
Whether it’s shopping or visiting tourist destinations, do you really like to do any of that while you’re on vacation? No. But you still do it. Here’s the lazy way to sort of do it: Visit local boutiques with no intention of purchasing anything and laugh at how absurd the price tags are. Then, visit that insanely crowded but world famous fountain where you Instagram a selfie and pretend you truly absorbed the culture of the city you’re in. Or just take a picture of a random statue by your hotel and pretend it’s important. There’s no use in lying – we’ve all done it. Most activities we do and attractions we visit are just done out of mere obligation because, when in Rome.
Don’t want to buy a fanny pack? I’ve got a good idea: Carry your belongings in your pockets or bag like you normally would and just check every couple of seconds to make sure they’re still there. And if your stuff does get stolen, call the authorities and go back to my first tip on learning the language to try and communicate what has just happened.