Patrick Stewart and the Whales Need Your Help

Patrick Stewart believes there have been too many snot-nosed whales a-skimping the seas for too long, that is, without scientific study. But, for some reason, scientists working with Ocean Alliance are having trouble raising funds for their snot-bot drone to continue collecting the necessary samples. So naturally, they’ve turned to Patrick Stewart in the creation of a video to kickstart their Kickstarter, and he couldn’t refuse.

WHY DOES PATRICK STEWART LIKE SNOT BOTS?

Snot Bots are little drones guided through the spray of fluids ejected from whales’ blowholes at the surface of water to collect vital samples of mucus and other biological material. The whales are physically unharmed, however, they excel at acoustics (and brains), so any pursuing entities, even the harmless curiosity of scientists, subjects them to a good deal of psychological stress, which throws the data sample into disarray.

FOR HUMAN ANALOGY:

Consider that of Ocean Alliance CEO Iain Kerr who explained that, “if all your doctor knew about your health was from chasing you around the examination room, blasting an airhorn and jabbing you with a needle,” no one would blame you for being a little on edge. And, though this writer cannot speak for the reader’s psychology, whales are generally unperturbed.

HOW DID THIS COME TO BE?

This project is the result of a joint partnership between Ocean Alliance and the Olin College of Engineering, who came together to engineer Snot Bots. These unique devices take a very high level of precision to design because they must actually hover directly above a live freaking whale long enough to collect enough samples without freaking the whale out.

WHAT COULD WE POSSIBLY LEARN FROM WHALE MUCUS?

Snot Bots are the newest and most humane way to collect whale DNA, hormones, and data on the bacterial or viral content of whales, in addition to a veritable compendium of data to help us understand the whales in their natural habitat.

HOW DID THEY WRANGLE PATRICK STEWART?

Apparently Patrick Stewart is an old friend and outspoken supporter of Ocean Alliance. He actually funded the construction of one of the Snot Bot drones in toto, and named it Sunny, after his wife, Sunny Ozell.

PATRICK STEWART AND THE WHALES

Ocean Alliance’s goal is $225,000. We may not be able to go to warp speed with him, but what better way to be in cahoots with Patrick Stewart and the whales simultaneously is there?


 

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