Top 10 Most Useless Inventions

Courtesy of NoPhone

The number of useless inventions on the market today is astounding. With crowd-funding becoming so popular, people can get their crazy ideas completely funded within a matter of 48 hours. With all of the amazing new inventions being created every day there are certainly a few duds as well. Below are the top 10 most useless gadgets, including a few new ones from several crowd-funding campaign sites.


10. Shoe Umbrella

Need to keep your heels dry when it’s pouring outside? Sick of sopping wet shoes? Don’t worry the shoe umbrella is here! Rain boots exist for a reason. This ridiculous invention looks as if it would make it hard to walk and doesn’t even seem to fully cover your shoe.


9. Car Exhaust Grill

Courtesy of Exhaust Burger Grill
Courtesy of Exhaust Burger Grill

I actually can’t believe this is real, legal, or safe. This invention soaks up spare heat from your car cooking the perfect, (carcinogenic) burger while you drive! The creators claim that the harmful fumes are pushed away from the burger and only the heat remains, which I find very unlikely if not impossible.


8. Anti-Zombie Soap

Better to be safe than sorry right? Each soap is complete with a three day zombie free guarantee and comes in a range of four scents. Their campaign was completely backed and they have now created the “Anti Zombie Chill Pill Bath Bomb” in case you’ve been bitten by a zombie and need an antidote…


7. Goldfish Walker

My goldfish is constantly crying to get out of the house, but now I have  a solution! This one is actually really cruel, I’m sure taking a goldfish on a walk is not only dangerous but would also terrify the fish.


6. Diet Water

I always feel guilty when I drink too much water, so many calories, so much sugar! I’ll probably switch to diet soon. Yes, this is a real product out of Japan and would be similar to our “skinny” or “fitness” waters.


5. Walking Sleeping Bag

Courtesy of Walking Sleeping Bag
Courtesy of Walking Sleeping Bag

This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen and clearly something everyone needs. Instead of going through all of the effort to leave the warmth of your sleeping bag in the morning, why not just get up and walk out of your tent with it on?


4. Strap On Beards

Want that cool, hipster, Brooklyn look but don’t like the feeling of a real beard? ‘5 O’Clock Shadow’ started as a joke but was backed and is guaranteed to make your face super warm in the winter! It actually looks really comfortable and warm, not gonna lie.


3. Toilet Paper Hat

If you’ve ever had the sniffles or a bad cold you know that going through all of the effort to reach for a tissue can be really annoying! Not to mention the pain of carrying tissues around when you’re on the go. This hat solves the tissue problem and is so convenient, just reach up and the tissues you need are right on top of your head.


2. Crystal Bacon

Courtesy of Crystal Bacon
Courtesy of Crystal Bacon

Crystal Bacon is jewelry in the shape of bacon that is not made out of “crystal” but is actually acrylic plastic. The perfect gift for someone who’s obsessed with bacon or the most useless invention ever….you decide.


1. The NoPhone ZERO

The NoPhone ZERO is exactly what it sounds like, it’s not a phone but is shaped like one and is actually perfect for millennials. If are sick of obsessively checking your phone then get the No Phone (which was funded in under 48 hours) . It is a plastic rectangle and will help keep your phone checking compulsions at bay. There’s even a generation with a mirror in it if you have a selfie-taking compulsion. The NoPhone looks out for you.

Keep Your NoPhone ZERO Safe With a SmartScreen Protector!

Haley Paskalides is a writer and editor navigating her twenty-somethings in Brooklyn, NY. She currently works as an editor at a medical publisher in Manhattan. In her spare time, she enjoys running, exploring the city, and reading everything.