We’ve all seen them, the apps that are almost always redundantly named that promise nothing but time wasted. Here are Clapway’s picks for the ten dumbest apps we’ve encountered yet, for Android and/or iOS.
10. Is It Dark Outside?
This app is simple. It asks you ‘Is It Dark Outside?” and you need only answer yes or no. This is for best use when no one is texting you back and you’re tired of every other application on your phone but you still need to be consumed by your smartphone to distract yourself by the life going on around you. Fun.
9. Akatu Fake Shower
Parents or partners making you go into the shower again? Your days of forced cleaning are over! This app simulates the sounds of showering so you can pretend to shower, and haul your soiled self back to the real world. Your family will think you smell like roses but you really still smell like last night’s takeout.
8. Drunk Dialer
Every wanted to drunk dial an ex? Well, this app makes it 20x harder by scrambling the number keypad on your screen. It’s a pretty good concept for the drunks in us that can’t help themselves and somehow know the phone number by heart even when highly intoxicated… but I’m not sure people would have the wits to think ‘ah, let me use the Drunk Dialer app to drunk dial my ex!”
Maybe some people will, but mostly, it’s just dumb.
This app lets you zip a crotch zipper up and down. You can’t change the kind of zipper but hey, you can customize the color of the undies underneath! How exciting.
5. S. M. T. H. (Android)
Show Me The Heavens is an app that measures just how high you can fling your smartphone in the air. Just let the genius of that sink in. What’s the worst thing that could happen?
4. Hodor Keyboard (Android)
Ever wanted to hodorize your lingo? It’s fairly easy, given there’s only one word in the entire language.
Another self-explanatory one for the immature 7-year old in all of us.
2. Vibrating Duck
Literally just a vibrating rubber duck.
1. Enjoy Toilet Paper
Do you remember the last time toilet paper was fun? When you weren’t conditioned to those Charmin commercials that insist that less is more? Do you think more is more? Well, this is the app for you! Enjoy Toilet Paper lets you swipe down on your screen to pull out as much toilet paper as you want. Screw the system, you’re an anarchist and you must rebel!