Scientists: Most Dinosaurs Masturbated but T. Rex

Scientists: Most Dinosaurs Masturbated but T. Rex Clapway

Besides that amazing feeling followed by the silent sounds of deep regret, masturbation has a positive effect on us. Masturbation reduces stress, lowers the risk prostate cancer and can increase energy. One could argue that masturbation is at an all time high thanks to sites like Pornhub and YouJizz but it wasn’t always that easy.

Back in the days of dinosaurs, even cavemen felt the need for a good wank. Eventually, dinosaurs began to catch on to it. However, there was one angsty dino that just couldn’t physically make the reach. Of course, this is none other than the T.Rex. This may explain the dinosaur’s severe temper issues.

PHYSICALLY CHALLENGED T.REX WOULD NOT LIKE PORNHUB OR YOUJIZZ

Poor T.Rex. The king of the dinosaurs yet it’s cursed with tiny, useless arms. As you may remember from that Dino 101 course you took, dinosaurs loved masturbation. They would crowd around human encampments, watching as Grog and friends jerked it to the cave painting equivalent of Pornhub and Youjizz. The dinosaurs were amused at the pleasure these hairless apes were getting from such a simple taste. Hence, dinosaur ejaculation was born and became a vital part of Earth’s history. The tyrannosaur, however, has not so pleased.

T.REX TAKES ANGER OUT PORNHUB AND YOUJIZZ LOVING DINOSAURS

Since a lack of masturbation causes one great stress, it’s understandable why the T.Rex was so angry all the time. So why was this dinosaur cursed with such tiny arms? Well, some scientists believe that predatory dinosaurs like this have evolved smaller arms. This is due to their skulls being more readily available to conquer prey. Basically, if you don’t use it, you lose it.

WHAT PORNHUB AND YOUJIZZ TEACH US ABOUT THE T.REX

Whatever you’re doing right now, stop. Open up an incognito tab (or don’t) and get on Pornhub and YouJizz immediately. Masturbate to your heart’s content because your life depends on it. Furthermore, your species evolution depends on it. By not masturbating, your arms might just cease to evolve and you’ll end up like a┬átyrannosaurs rex. Nobody wants that, so do the world a favor and rub one out.


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