The time has finally come. The house is finally empty, your schedule is clear and the Wi-Fi connection is in top form. It’s just you and your computer to do whatever you want together. A nice night of Netflix binge watching is in order but first, a little trip to Youporn and Pornhub. You’re all lubed up and ready to begin the dirty deed. Suddenly, you get a strange feeling. Are those footsteps you hear?
Yes, it’s your roommate Gunther who bursts into the room to grab his iPhone charger. Hence, catching you c**k-handed. These embarrassing situations happen to even the best of us, but there’s a new technology to help prevent this from ever happening again. Here are five things to know about it.
1. JERK ALERT WARNS YOU WHEN WATCHING PORNHUB OR YOUPORN
Introducing the Jerk Alert. The whole point of this technology is to help you (the jerker) know when someone (the lurker) is about to bust in on your fun. In comes with a wristband and a spare motion sensor. Together, they’ll help you jerk happily undisturbed.
2. WATCH PORNHUB OR YOUPORN IN ANY HOME
With the wireless motion sensors removable arm, you can place this device in a hallway, doorway or virtually anywhere in your homes. Furthermore, you can choose to place the small receiver in a wristband and wear it, in your pocket or somewhere on a table nearby. Anywhere that you can hear it.
3. SET PORNHUB AND YOUPORN ALERT TO BEEP OR VIBRATE
Unlike any wireless motion sensors, this one can both vibrate or beep. Sometimes, when you’re deep in the action of jerking it, it’s hard to hear a beep or feel a vibrate. You need to experiment which one works best for you. It’s worth it to save all that embarrassment
4. PORNHUB AND YOUPORN WILL PROFIT FROM THIS
Imagine how many more views these porn websites will get now that there’s no risk of getting caught? Surely, there are thousands of frightened teens too scared to jerk it because of their parents lurking around. Well, no more. Now, they are free to jerk as they please.
5. PORNHUB AND YOUPORN FANS ARE FREE
It’s rather ironic that a device that goes around your wrist sets you free but it does in so many ways. No longer do we have to cower in fear for watching porn. Now, we can watch whatever we want, and whenever we want. It’s a great time to be alive.
