A Father’s Day Gift Guide from a Severely Underqualified Daughter

2 Main Reasons Why You Should Be Drinking Starbucks Coffee Clapway

Every time I’ve reiterated my annual Father’s Day gift woes to peers, they’ve consistently related to me. It is a fair point, isn’t it? How do you shop for the man who has everything? The eternal provider? He’s gotten it himself if he’s wanted it because that’s what self-made men tend to do. Maybe that’s the reason Father’s Day gift guides exist. I never would have thought myself to ever make one. But this year, I’m feeling a little different about the holiday. It’s “Hallmark-ian” in nature much like Valentine’s Day. But, also like with V-Day, the sentiment is what really matters.

Here’s my list of what I’d love to be able to get my Father this Father’s day, written to my Father:

1. Unlimited couch hangs

I put this up at number one because after long days at work, you were constantly on our living room sofa watching soccer, your Turkish soaps, Turkish Idol(?) and Turkish news. Also, you always wanted me to be at home, but even when I was, I’d be locked up in my own room instead of hanging out with you anyway. My biggest regret is how little time I’d spend on the couch next to you doing my own thing even if I didn’t understand Turkish programming. This is why this Father’s Day gift needs to be up here.

2. An iPhone attachment lens for your inner photographer

The reason there are many more pictures you’ve taken than pictures of you is that you were always the photographer in the family, capturing the memories that meant so much to you at all our family gatherings. This Telephoto Lens from Photojojo is sure to entertain you for its accessibility, portability, and ease-of-use.

3. Unlimited super juice

I know how health-conscious you always were and how much you wanted to live forever. You’ve always said how much you expect to see your great-grandchildren even. This year, I would have considered getting you a gift card to Juice Press or The Pressed Juicery to support you in your mission – that was really all for us, too.

4. A personal trainer

The health nut that you are should finally invest in a personal trainer. I’ve always thought so. Here’s how I would go about it!

5. A CUBE like you because you’re sure no square

I mean, you can even solve a Rubix Cube — something I’ve never done. This very small CUBE manages your home. It controls everything in your home (sound familiar?) including the temperature of your home, appliances, lighting, and music. I just know this one would impress you as I’ve always had a decidedly tech-loving Dad.

6. Because I don’t believe in cutting out wonderful coffee for good

I just want to make sure you always have your brew especially on the days where I can’t bring you some. Besides, this looks really nifty. Bruer Coffee would be just the thing for your 24/7 work week.

7. Your dream car, of course

So the latest model from Mercedes Benz might be a dream present. I know you’d have enjoyed a present like this some upcoming Father’s Day. The dream has always been to be able to get you a Father’s Day gift to show you how much I appreciate all your hard work, how much you’ve loved me all through the years and how much you’ve taught me.

Thank you so much for everything, Daddy! Happy Father’s Day! I realize that the best Father’s Day gift I could have given you would have been to keep on what you couldn’t and I promise to do just that.