Eminem Looks to Profit From Old Cassette Tapes He Found

Eminem Looks to Profit From Old Cassette Tapes He Found Clapway

While today’s hottest artists are finding all kinds of new innovative ways to release their music, Eminem is taking us back in time. Forget streaming, forget .mp3 and don’t even think about the ancient CD. The real Slim Shady is standing up against modern audio technology and re-releasing an LP on cassette tape. Either Marshall Mathers has gone full hipster or he just found a box of old cassettes and needs money.

EMIMINEM PULLS ULTIMATE NOSTALGIA CARD

On Twitter, Eminem announced that his second album The Slim Shady LP  will be re-released. Fans of the rapper will know that the album was a massive success. Re-releases are cool and all, but one can’t help to think “why on a cassette yo?”. Here’s a theory you all should wrestle with. If it was a new album, that would be one thing. A new album on cassette would create tons of buzz and work as a brilliant marketing campaign. This is from 1999 though. Eminem was putzing around the house some lazy Sunday afternoon and decided to do some cleaning. Rummaging through the basement he came across boxes of forgotten cassettes. Being the smart businessman that he is, he ran to Twitter and “shazaam”.

FACTS FOR THE YOUTH

We could argue day in and day out about the origin of these cassettes, but Eminem has spoken. Our resources will now be best used in educating the youth on how to play the darn thing. They’ll likely hold it close to their face, pressing down on it expecting something to light up. They’ll try plugging in various devices into it. Looking  to get some kind of rise but only failing. Lastly, they’ll consult Siri who will probably just pull up Eminem on iTunes. If you have a younger sibling or friend born sometime after 1999, be the better person and fill them in. Show them your old Sony Walkman. Tell them about mixtapes. Explain how you used to have to trade Phish cassettes in the mail in order to hear the latest show. Life wasn’t all Angry Birds and Minecraft back then, people had to work for entertainment.

Maybe Eminem isn’t doing this just for the money. Perhaps he’s fed up with the nation’s youth as they continue to drown their spirits in the technological realm. Yes, this is his way of saying “wake up sheeple!”. In reality, though, he’s probably just doing it all for the money.

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