Aliens Have Stolen Japanese Satellite?

Aliens Have Stolen Japanese Satellite? Clapway

Will Robinson isn’t the only one lost in space anymore. (Yes, I’m referencing the 1960’s television show and not that crappy 90’s remake with Matt LeBlanc). It seems Japan has misplaced their satellite somewhere in the great abyss. The promising device was the key to some great mysteries. Is it due to Japans own incompetence or did aliens scoop it up for themselves?

JAPANESE SATELLITE THE KEY TO BLACK HOLES

Japan’s space agency reported that communication has failed with their brand, new, shiny satellite. The device had X-ray telescopes that were supposed to study the great mystery of black holes amongst many other of space’s unknown wonders. Now, we may never know these secrets thanks to Japan. Apparently, they are unsure if communications with satellite “Hitomi” could ever be restored. As one can imagine, The Japanese space agency refused to comment. They must be ashamed beyond belief. It seems it might even be better to just blame aliens at this point.

ALIENS CAUSE FOR COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN?

An astronomer from Harvard narrowed down the satellite issue to an energetic event. Without possibly being vaguer, an energetic event like this was thought to cause a battery explosion or gas leak. If this is the case, the antenna isn’t pointing where it needs to be, thus destroying communication with the space agency. The danger goes beyond that, though. Without the device facing the right way, it can not draw solar energy from its panels. Thus, the battery will run out before reconnection will be made. Scientists are already mourning the loss as just another example of how unforgiving space can be. Their willingness to give up so easily is oddly concerning.

BLACK HOLE COVER UP

It seems that what we have here is our classic black hole cover up. Aliens don’t want us to know about them. They see how badly we treat our planet. If we discover black holes, then perhaps we discover intergalactic space travel.  Aliens will then have to deal with a new race of screw-ups who will go from planet-to-planet fighting over racial clout, money and other irrelevant tidbits. Perhaps it’s different. Maybe aliens stole the satellite to protect us from the knowledge. Like a good drug dealer, maybe they are rationing the information for us until we are mature enough to handle a bigger dose. Most likely though, Japan just screwed up.

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